he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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