If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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