I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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