? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
