I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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