I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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