remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
