just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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