Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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