oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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