I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
