I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
