I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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