The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize