I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
