I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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