DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
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If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
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I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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