can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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