You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
