I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
