I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
