I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
