Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
