if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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