Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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