She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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