I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
