Don't make out with my wife yet
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
