So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize