Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
