I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
