She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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