what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
