how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
