she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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