If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I believe in your delicious
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
