she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
