its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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