so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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