theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
