the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My vagina just recognized that song.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
