Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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