The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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