Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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