i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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