Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Less talking, more tequila
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
