absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she looked like the before picture.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
