You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
