You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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