no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
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I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
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So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.