Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops