it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
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still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.