Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
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you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
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Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again