Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there