I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
