my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
