Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
