maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
