just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there was a trapeze. enough said
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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