I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
