I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize