We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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