Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
