8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Bring me that man meat
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize