This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
